Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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