so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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