During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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