it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
