she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
