just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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