When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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