I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
