yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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