I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
