I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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