The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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