I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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