Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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