I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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