So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
