I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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