so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize