Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
