Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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