next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
