If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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