R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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