North Korea, Best Korea!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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