He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize