sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
