remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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