I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize