so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
