Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My life is pants optional.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
