Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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