Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I love having hate sex.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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