At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
