My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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