The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
