he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
