omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
