Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
