She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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