So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I can't turn off my feet"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
