He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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