no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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