Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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