I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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