Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Drake has all the answers
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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