Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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