Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
honey bunches of taint.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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