Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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