My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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