I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
