I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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