just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
