I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Bring me that man meat
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