I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
