i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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