I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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