i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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