CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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